TUESDAY 11th MAY
MEARLEY CLOUGH
3.5m/1200ft
WORSTON, PENDLE

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and after two years of yearning for a return to this cracking little fell race, I was off down the A59 soon after work as if on auto pilot. In 2006 I was new to the game but loved it finishing a modest 26th. A year later I chopped four minutes off my time and came 4th. But 2OO8 was a non-starter with my legs in absolute tatters from the Buttermere Sailbeck race two days previous and last year I missed out whilst recovering from a bad tumble in training. This year I felt I just couldn't miss out because I had no truly valid reason to other than the fear of having a bad race. I knew I was in no shape or form to emmulate my 2007 run, but thought I could squeeze out some sort of repectable showing and so enjoy the occasion at least.
Warming up it was difficult to assess what was in the legs that evening. They felt light enough, but just two days after a road race in which I struggled, it was difficult to tell. The answer came just 1OO yards into the race when I felt totally off the pace. I looked ahead at the front posse of Dugdale, Watson, Schofield & Co, thinking I should be up there or somewhere abouts. I started wondering why I didn't leave myself yearning for another year! 
There was little in the way of pace in my legs over the first few rolling fields and then little in the way of power as the most moderate of climbs through woodland brought on plenty of discomfort to the quadriceps. Not good when the next section is a steep 1000 feet clamber to the large cairn upon Pendle's western plateau.
At the begining of this climb I couldn't believe it when a chap stood taking photographs muttered, ''Trying to run just for the camera mate? Don't bother...'' as I passed by. It's easy stood there with your camera, I thought, but his comments suprised me that much I was speechless for a quick reply. Besides, I was out of puff and probably couldn't have strung a legible sentence together. As I struggled up that main ascent with runners I didn't recognise passing me by, and then finding my recovery didn't happen coming off the top, I got myself let myself get a bit rattled and was ready to spit some dummy. The equally steep descent off the other side of the Clough felt equally unpleasant as my body just would not synchronise to the task in hand and my knees felt like their shock absorbers had been removed. As I gingerly pottered to the bottom and made my final few incipid strides across the beck, I spotted the cameraman again and instinctively let out an x-rated mouthful about putting on a vest himself or shutting the f*** up, in no uncertain terms. This happened within earshot of a handful of other spectators from the fell running community and soon enough as I ran back through the woods and to the finish I realised I was out of order. A sly comment without all the foul language would have sufficed, but when I get rattled my acid tongue can sometimes find a mind of it's own as most people I used to play football or worked in a kitchen with can probably vouch for! This wasn't some testosterone fuelled football pitch or a hot and busy kitchen though, this was a beautiful area at the foot of Pendle Hill and quite frankly there was no place for it and I felt ashamed of myself to be quite honest. 
I didn't hang about after the finish. 21st in just under 35 minutes were statistics I rather forget. I did make sure I had a few words with Graham Schofield though before I skulked off homewards, in the hope that he might have a few words of wisdom for me and I was not to be disappointed.
''Maybe you need to decide what you want to do... road or fells? Very few can be good at everything.'' Simple advice but bang on the money. Maybe I do need to focus on one discipline and just get on with it. 
Driving home I discovered that David Cameron was on his way to Downing Street in a Con/Lib coalition and this fascinating news soon distracted me from a largely forgettable running performance. In view of Gordon Brown's dignified resignation I decided to do the dignified thing myself and post an apology for my actions on the Fell Runners' Forum. I was happy to actually get a reply from the said cameraman who happens to be a runner himself when he isn't injured. He informed me that his comments were aimed at his clubmate Ian Greenwood who was right behind me... and that Ian was trying to run up the steep bit just for the camera! Well, my embarrasment was now well and truly maximised and given that I was in the wrong, was happy and relieved to have my apology accepted.
Time: 34:52   Pos: 21st/140





SUNDAY 9th MAY
BLACKSTICKS BLUE 10k
6.2m/road
WHITECHAPEL, BOWLAND

I could have happily lived without this one and done some steady training but I had said to myself if I got round the Three Peaks in one piece I would support this new event, and of course there is nothing like a good old road 10k to find out where you are at... or as it would turn out, where I am not. On good form I would have given legendary veteran Paul Muller of Horwich and Wesham's Barry Norman a good chase, but those two soon peeled off after the first mile and I found myself isolated in third place for a while. On the long uphill stretch to Beacon Fell I could feel myself blowing up and I began to hear the dreaded sound of footsteps and breathing from behind. Clayton's Dave Walker was first to skip by at the very crest of the hill, shortly followed by Astley & Tyldesley veteran Shaun Moran. I tried to find a kick, a surge, or just something to hold on to them but they pushed away and I was left on my own again for the final few miles and chalked up 5th place despite my disappointment.
A generous offering of the locally produced soft blue cheese which sponsors the event is placed into the hands of all finishers. Paul Muller was first to collect his wedge and cemented himself to the top of the podium with his second race win within a few weeks, and that after a few too many beers the night before, he revealed. He always says that. How he does it only he knows. 
Time: 38:08   Pos: 5th/219